How To Use Fear To Gain Confidence
There are many ways for us to gain confidence but one obscure way is use fear to gain confidence. Yes it certainly is strange as there are so many other ways for us to grow and improve our confidence, but from my experience, fear works wonders.
The first thing to understand about fear is that fear works in different ways than so many people think. For sure, many see fear as a sort of paralyzing thing. It’s beyond being scared of something but also creating excuses for why we can’t change something. Examples of this are things like:
- Fear of failure.
- Fear of success.
- Having a fear of your image being ruined
- And more.
From my own experiences, I had a fear of people not liking or appreciating me. It was that fear that drove me to be shy, have terrible social skills, and practice self-hate to the point it drove me to depression.
But from my own personal journey, I’ve learned fear is a lot more than a paralyzing factor. It can be a source of motivation.
Fear is what drove me to take an active change in my life and travel across Canada.
Fear taught and trained me to handle the complications of life and to be bolder.
It even helped me in being confident in my own writing and to publish it.
Now I’ll teach you how I got fear to do that.
First, See Fear As A Mentor
I always say that our mistakes teach us lessons, but that principal also applies to our failures.
Even if our failures are simply us being paralyzed to take action.
This is crucial to know because when you see fear in that light, you can use fear to gain confidence. The that is is that fear is essentially leaving you a lesson. From us identifying what that fear is (a crucial step towards changing) to figuring out how to best approach the problem, fear is in a way a mentor.
Mind you it’s not the best kind of mentor as every time you only learn by failing every time as opposed to half the time. Regardless fear shouldn’t all be seen like it’s a big bully pushing us around all the time.
Secondly, Apply What You Learn
When your fear gives you lessons, it’s key for you to learn them and apply them. You can use fear to gain confidence by first extracting the information through questions.
- Why am I not performing this action?
- Do I feel worried, afraid, or do I doubt myself?
- What can I learn by this experience?
From there you want to answer yourself with something you can actually do. That’s a matter of looking at the answer and asking how you can best implement it.
This is the foundation for mentorship, but also how you can overcome any kind of fear.
Finally, Reflect On Your Actions And Be Grateful
While the second step can be rather tactical there can be some instances where your actions are spur of the moment. Take for example my trip across Canada under the Katimavik program. That was spur of the moment because I was at a point where I was fed up with my attitude.
I applied for the program with no hesitation and went for it. I forced myself to believe that I couldn’t get out of it no matter what (even though there were certainly options to do so).
But no matter the situation that you are in with regards of that action, be sure to take the time to reflect on your actions. Not to mention express gratitude. Sharing your positive energy can make you feel good of course, but it also allows you to see how grand an experience can be.
For me, I see Katimavik as a life changing program for myself as it taught me foundational skills for things I lacked. Even though I didn’t get the most out of the program, I was able to use fear to gain confidence by looking back and expressing gratitude.
Through that action, I realized I learned a lot from the experience than I thought initially. This shifted my reality and transformed my life forever moving forward.
Use Fear To Gain Confidence
Now it is your turn.
Apply these steps and you’ll see how you too can use fear to gain confidence and change your life around.
Fear is harsh, but the reality is that life isn’t meant to be easy.
The road to gaining confidence in our lives is a hard road but it can be a rewarding one as well when you are open to new things.
To your development!
Eric S Burdon