Want To Have High Self Esteem? Stop Comparing
There are many barriers when you want to have high self esteem. But one of the biggest barriers is that we compare ourselves to others. You might blow it off at first, but it does make sense the more you look at it. Suicide rates are high amongst highly competitive schools is one example. Another is the fact that in the media men and women are encouraged to look and act a certain way too.
It seems comparison is a major problem and it can be difficult to fix it. Many psychiatrists have talked about it, but the most notable one is by Leon Festinger.
He stated that our appeal to compare is about as strong as our need for food or water.
While the need to compare is prominent, it doesn’t mean we are cursed forever. We can overcome this problem given time and knowing what you can do as well. Below are a few recommendations on approaching comparison. Through these techniques, you can have high self esteem or improve self esteem dramatically.
Practice Temporal Comparison
The first big step to manage comparison is to practice temporal comparison. As you can figure out, our social comparisons are wrong for a variety of reasons. With this in mind, we can use temporal comparison to have high self esteem.
How we can do that is by providing an alternative to comparing. This is where temporal comparison plays in.
Temporal comparison is comparing yourself to who you were in the past. This alternative works and helps you to have high self esteem because comparing ourselves are in our nature. Because comparing is so ingrained in ourselves, we need to find some other alternative. One that can help improve self esteem.
This provides an alternative as you are comparing who you are now with who you were.
On top of that, you can also learn more about your goals and direction by comparing who you are with who you want to be.
Keep An Eye On Comparison Sources
As this article suggests, there are a few places where we compare ourselves. One of the biggest places these days is social media.
It’s easy to compare ourselves mainly because we are very good at filtering our lives on social media. People can see the genuine smiling selfies and think that you are in a loving relationship. However behind that picture you and your partner were in a serious fight mere moments ago.
Social media can be a place where we compare our lives to a life that’s been filtered and that’s dangerous.
It’s akin to comparing your success to the success of someone wealthy.
Sure they may be younger and make far more money, but you are missing the whole story. Maybe they still have no clue what to do. Or perhaps their father or mother are wealthy individuals. Maybe they have a wealthy uncle. It’s hard to say.
My point is you are comparing apples to oranges. Social media has only helped to make that more prominent. Because of this, you want to keep an eye on it and other areas of your life as well. By managing how you compare and where you compare, you can better improve self esteem.
High Self Esteem Can Be Yours
To have high self esteem is a choice. To improve self esteem is a choice as well. And by breaking down the barrier of comparison, you are giving yourself room to grow and achieve that.
I want to end things off today with a video further solidifying what I’ve talked about. The more that we understand comparison and be able to place barriers and find alternatives to it, the sooner we can grow up over this threat.
We all have the ability to compare, but I hope that you will take steps towards comparing who you are with who you wish to be.
To your development!
Eric S Burdon